OUCH! What hurts the most
by Wispy Silver Butterflies
Summary: What hurts the most, Was being so close, And having so much to say...// Draco dead and Hermione can't cope. PLEASE READ! PLEASE REVIEW!free cookie for every reviewer! whatever you think just put it! x x


**_A/N warning: sad songfic, i reccomend you listen to the song while reading it._**

**_ENJOY!!!!_**

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**_Song by Rascal Flatts: What hurts the most_**

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**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while**

"It's not true," Hermione whispered shaking her head in denial, she looked up into the mirror above her dressing table and stopped rooting through the draws for the silver chain he had given her before he left. "It's not true!" she cried voice braking as she turned around abruptly and started to hit Ron hard in the chest needing to blame someone as reality hit her.

"_You_ did this! You made him leave I _hate_ you! Say it, say you hated him!" she screamed at him in dispair as he fixed his arms around her tightly and held her despite the way she was hitting him. "Why?!" she screamed again and fell to the floor. "Why?" she screamed and buried her head in his chest as he fell down with her and held her while she cried hard. "Why did you take him from me?" Hermione sobbed into him as Harry sat on the bed behind them watching Hermione with pitiful eyes. He couldn't fix this one.

**Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me**

"Hermione?" Ginny asked as Hermione sat down at the table and looked at the food as if it was poison. "Are you okay?" the Ginger girl knew it was a stupid question but she was afraid if she said anything else she might say the wrong thing and the last thing she wanted was for Hermione to start crying again.

"I'm fine." Hermione almost whispered back as she felt the bile rise in her throat and the tears fill her eyes as she looked over at the Slytherin table to find he wasn't there.

Ginny put a hand on hers but Hermione only snatched it away and ran from the hall as fast as she could, tears spilling down her cheeks and her distraught cries echoing down the hall.

**What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do**

"_What's wrong?" Draco asked as they were suspended on his broom in the starry sky and Hermione was leaning against his chest. _

"_Is it Harry and Ron?" _

"_No..." she replied softly and paused "Do you ever think about the future?" she asked as Draco began to fiddle with her curls. "What do you see?"_

"_What do you see?" he replied_

"_Im serious," she said turning her head to looking into his blue and grey eyes._

"…"

"_You," he whispered, "I see you,"_

_Hermione smiled and kissed him softly on the lips then broke away and rubbed her nose against his._

"_Hermione?" Draco called as they were back on the ground, "What do you see?" he asked but Hermione only smiled at him then ran back up towards the castle. _

**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret**

Hermione paused outside the door to Snape's potion class, she hadn't set foot in there since he died and she was dreading it so badly. She pushed open the door and immediately had the whole class staring at her with sympathetic looks as she sat down in her seat. She didn't want symphathy, she wanted to be left alone.

Beside her desk was Draco's, instead of him sitting there smiling at her, a pile of books was in his place. Hermione looked up to see Harry and Ron watching her with worried eyes. A tear slid down her cheek and Snape began to yell as she pushed the books off the desk, which sent them in different directions. His voice was muffled, all Hermione could hear was Draco's voice and all she could see was him, his blonde hair and his sparkling eyes. Why did she let him go?

She knew why, it was so she would be safe, but every time she realized this was her fault the guilt became unbareable.

**But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken**

Hermione ran down the deserted corridors, burst into the girl's bathroom, and launched at the toilet just in time. Her heart was aching so badly and she found it hard to breathe as she sat with her back to the door of the cubical. Her hand was on her tummy, her head was spinning and her eyes were burning as tears flowed freely down her flushed cheeks. The bile rose in her throat once again and her pushed herself over the toilet as she vomited again.

**What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do**

Hermione picked up her wand and performed the one spell she never intended to, the one that would allow her to break the barriers around Hogwarts so she could apparate. The sensation that filled her made no difference as she walked through of the dark graveyard which Voldemort had taken her beloved Draco's life when he refused to take the dark mark.

The sky was turning dark and it was obvious it was about to storm badly, but Hermione ran, she ran as the tears combined with the droplets of rain that were falling from the sky. She ran until she fell to her knees in front of the white cross that marked when he died and that Hermione had dug into the ground in his memory.

**What hurts the most was being  
so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do**

The rain began to fall and soak her; her eyes shed more of the salty substance as she starred at the cross. "Why didn't I stop you?" she whispered to herself then fell silent as she clasped her hands together and prayed he would come back. "Why did you leave me? I can't live without you..." she tightened her hand around the chain that was secured around her neck. "Renember when you gave me this?" she said to the small wooden cross. "You told me you would eb here forever, that I'd never be alone...."

"You promised...." her voice cracked and her heart snapped in two again.

**I'm saying that loving you  
That's what I was tryin' to do**

Hermione looked up into the dark sky as the rain fell on her face. "Did you not have enough angels up there? He changed, he was good, I had someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, Someone to share my secrets and my worries....Someone to hold, and you! YOU took him away from me!" She looked back down at the cross with red-rimmed eyes and a pain in her chest, angry with god for what he had taken from her. The ache grew forever stronger. Her arms were wrapped around herself as if holding herself together.

moments passed as the rain began to splatter loudly on the ground and thunder began to cackle.

"I saw you," she whispered loudly with much difficulty as emotion wracked her voice.

"I saw you," she repeated and buried her head in her hand, the other one held over the small bump forming under her cloak.

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**_A/N love that song! so sad though and it just gave me an idea for this fic, Reviews appreciated :) WHATEVER YOU THOUGHT JUST PUT IT PLEASE!_**


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